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cripples, bastards, and broken things

Soon-to-be student of mortuary science. Literary junkie, cartoonist, Boba Fett fan, huge fucking nerd, metalfag. Named Laurel.


oscarstardis:  #dude #Elrond #you’re a motherfucking Elf man #you could’ve felled that mortal motherfucker with a quirk of one perfectly manicured eyebrow #but no #you let that whiny little bitch walk off with the fucking One Ring and basically doomed all of Middle Earth to war #was it because you got dirty? #is that like Elven kryptonite? #your face got dirty and therefore you couldn’t get your bitchass in gear long enough to shove one puny human into a lake of fire? #is that why Legolas always keeps his face so damn clean all the time? #cause he learned from your dirty sweaty mistakes and knows that all that stands between him and obscurity is a bar of Dove soap? #wait…what was I talking about? #oh right #The One Ring #way to drop the ball son #The angry sex after this must have been magnificent

oscarstardis:  #dude #Elrond #you’re a motherfucking Elf man #you could’ve felled that mortal motherfucker with a quirk of one perfectly manicured eyebrow #but no #you let that whiny little bitch walk off with the fucking One Ring and basically doomed all of Middle Earth to war #was it because you got dirty? #is that like Elven kryptonite? #your face got dirty and therefore you couldn’t get your bitchass in gear long enough to shove one puny human into a lake of fire? #is that why Legolas always keeps his face so damn clean all the time? #cause he learned from your dirty sweaty mistakes and knows that all that stands between him and obscurity is a bar of Dove soap? #wait…what was I talking about? #oh right #The One Ring #way to drop the ball son #The angry sex after this must have been magnificent

oscarstardis:  #dude #Elrond #you’re a motherfucking Elf man #you could’ve felled that mortal motherfucker with a quirk of one perfectly manicured eyebrow #but no #you let that whiny little bitch walk off with the fucking One Ring and basically doomed all of Middle Earth to war #was it because you got dirty? #is that like Elven kryptonite? #your face got dirty and therefore you couldn’t get your bitchass in gear long enough to shove one puny human into a lake of fire? #is that why Legolas always keeps his face so damn clean all the time? #cause he learned from your dirty sweaty mistakes and knows that all that stands between him and obscurity is a bar of Dove soap? #wait…what was I talking about? #oh right #The One Ring #way to drop the ball son #The angry sex after this must have been magnificent

oscarstardis:  #dude #Elrond #you’re a motherfucking Elf man #you could’ve felled that mortal motherfucker with a quirk of one perfectly manicured eyebrow #but no #you let that whiny little bitch walk off with the fucking One Ring and basically doomed all of Middle Earth to war #was it because you got dirty? #is that like Elven kryptonite? #your face got dirty and therefore you couldn’t get your bitchass in gear long enough to shove one puny human into a lake of fire? #is that why Legolas always keeps his face so damn clean all the time? #cause he learned from your dirty sweaty mistakes and knows that all that stands between him and obscurity is a bar of Dove soap? #wait…what was I talking about? #oh right #The One Ring #way to drop the ball son #The angry sex after this must have been magnificent

oscarstardis:

 #dude #Elrond #you’re a motherfucking Elf man #you could’ve felled that mortal motherfucker with a quirk of one perfectly manicured eyebrow #but no #you let that whiny little bitch walk off with the fucking One Ring and basically doomed all of Middle Earth to war #was it because you got dirty? #is that like Elven kryptonite? #your face got dirty and therefore you couldn’t get your bitchass in gear long enough to shove one puny human into a lake of fire? #is that why Legolas always keeps his face so damn clean all the time? #cause he learned from your dirty sweaty mistakes and knows that all that stands between him and obscurity is a bar of Dove soap? #wait…what was I talking about? #oh right #The One Ring #way to drop the ball son

#The angry sex after this must have been magnificent

Notes

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